This is so insightful and beautifully put. It takes a lot of courage to be so honest. I want to be authentic and write about my own mistakes and what I've learned from them on substack, but I'm also scared that people will be quick to judge and meet me with hate. Your bravery is contagious! You've inspired me to take the leap and say fuck the haters <3
I’ve been reading The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. And what you wrote resonated so much with me and with all that I’ve been reading. Consciousness is a verb. A constant practice.
This hit deep. Especially as a mom, the pressure to “be better” is constant, from parenting books, social media, even our own inner critic. We’re told to be more patient, more productive, more present… and somehow still stay perfectly put together.
But maybe growth in motherhood isn’t about being “better.” Maybe it’s about being real. Maybe it’s letting go of the pressure to outperform and simply choosing to show up with our tired hearts, our imperfect love, and our quiet strength.
Thank you for writing this. Mothers need this kind of reminder more than we say out loud. ❤️
It took a quiet kind of bravery to offer an answer to that question. Somehow, we’re taught subtly or brutally, that our worth is tied to how we stack up. Not just how we are, but how we perform compared to others.Underneath it, though, the desire to be "better" often hides a fear: Am I enough? If we were deeply convinced we were already worthy, already loved, already valid, the need to outshine would soften into a desire to simply grow, not compete. So maybe the better question is: what would happen if we stopped needing to be better than, and just tried to be better for ourselves, the people we love, and the world we live in? Now, back to where I belong.
Bri, yes, you were guilty of practicing spirituality and consciousness but not living it. Great way to frame it, to live it is the verb, to know and discuss it in the abstract is the noun. Thanks
Me encanta "Abrazar sin resolver" 🫂 y muchos gracias para la oportunidad a practicar mi español. No lo hablo suficiente estos días y estoy empezando a olivarlo!
Yes, when people are in pain or stressed what they really want and need is sympathy, empathy, and a person who will listen without judgement. If you're in the same room a hug or any other comforting gesture also works wonders.
No one needs a ten minute lecture or a "what works for me" suggestion.
I can relate to that subtle sense of superiority that creeps in and pushes others away. I’ve been there myself—I remember recognizing it in how I used to observe people around me, almost as if it proved I had already moved past those kinds of struggles.
When I shared this with my girlfriend at the time, she told me it sounded narcissistic—and honestly, I see her point. That reaction itself reveals something.
My father also went through a personal development program, and afterward, he started acting like he was above any emotional struggle, like he had transcended all of it. He became insufferable.
To me, that’s just another ego defense. A way to avoid feeling vulnerable or weak. It’s like a spiritual bypass—using self-improvement or spiritually to avoid facing the messy, real parts of being human.
I think I needed this wakeup call today. One of my very best friends is not a spiritual person, and it sometimes feels as though there is a gaping abyss between us because of it; I usually try to offer practical advice, but sometimes the spiritual root of the problem is too obvious to ignore. The last thing I want is to come on too strong and drive someone away by making them feel as though I'm speaking a language they don't recognize. Thank you for writing this. I think it's a problem we all have in this community to some degree.
Maybe you’ve been the person desperately needing someone to simply witness your pain, only to get a lecture instead of a friend that sees you. Or, maybe you’ve been the one who couldn’t resist turning someone else’s breakdown into your breakthrough moment.
This is so insightful and beautifully put. It takes a lot of courage to be so honest. I want to be authentic and write about my own mistakes and what I've learned from them on substack, but I'm also scared that people will be quick to judge and meet me with hate. Your bravery is contagious! You've inspired me to take the leap and say fuck the haters <3
Loved every single bit of this, Bri! Thank you for the reminder 🤍✨
I’ve been reading The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. And what you wrote resonated so much with me and with all that I’ve been reading. Consciousness is a verb. A constant practice.
This hit deep. Especially as a mom, the pressure to “be better” is constant, from parenting books, social media, even our own inner critic. We’re told to be more patient, more productive, more present… and somehow still stay perfectly put together.
But maybe growth in motherhood isn’t about being “better.” Maybe it’s about being real. Maybe it’s letting go of the pressure to outperform and simply choosing to show up with our tired hearts, our imperfect love, and our quiet strength.
Thank you for writing this. Mothers need this kind of reminder more than we say out loud. ❤️
It took a quiet kind of bravery to offer an answer to that question. Somehow, we’re taught subtly or brutally, that our worth is tied to how we stack up. Not just how we are, but how we perform compared to others.Underneath it, though, the desire to be "better" often hides a fear: Am I enough? If we were deeply convinced we were already worthy, already loved, already valid, the need to outshine would soften into a desire to simply grow, not compete. So maybe the better question is: what would happen if we stopped needing to be better than, and just tried to be better for ourselves, the people we love, and the world we live in? Now, back to where I belong.
Bri, yes, you were guilty of practicing spirituality and consciousness but not living it. Great way to frame it, to live it is the verb, to know and discuss it in the abstract is the noun. Thanks
Thank you! 🩷
Te leo y me reconozco.
A veces creemos que ayudar es “hacer” cuando en realidad ayudar es simplemente “estar”.
Estar presentes. Abrazar sin resolver.
Tu honestidad me sacude, porque también he querido ser luz cuando lo que alguien necesitaba era simplemente compañía en la oscuridad.
Gracias por escribir esto, por ponerle palabras a ese momento incómodo que tantos evitamos nombrar.
Y sí a veces lo único que se necesita es un “eso duele, estoy aquí contigo
Me encanta "Abrazar sin resolver" 🫂 y muchos gracias para la oportunidad a practicar mi español. No lo hablo suficiente estos días y estoy empezando a olivarlo!
Me alegra mucho que te gustara lo de “abrazar sin resolver.”
Y me disculpo por no responder en inglés, al contrario, me encanta que elijas expresarte en el idioma que te hace sentir bien.
Tu español está bien, y practicarlo así, desde la emoción y la conexión, es la mejor forma de no olvidarlo.
Gracias por compartir desde lo genuino. Eso también es abrazar sin resolver.
You're so good! Thank you so much for writing.
this was heavyyy on my mind today
🫂🫂🫂
This is TEA - a lesson for me for sure
Yes, when people are in pain or stressed what they really want and need is sympathy, empathy, and a person who will listen without judgement. If you're in the same room a hug or any other comforting gesture also works wonders.
No one needs a ten minute lecture or a "what works for me" suggestion.
🎯🎯🎯
"What if consciousness isn’t a ladder we climb but a circle we expand?" Love that.
And the idea of "verb version" is excellent.
I can relate to that subtle sense of superiority that creeps in and pushes others away. I’ve been there myself—I remember recognizing it in how I used to observe people around me, almost as if it proved I had already moved past those kinds of struggles.
When I shared this with my girlfriend at the time, she told me it sounded narcissistic—and honestly, I see her point. That reaction itself reveals something.
My father also went through a personal development program, and afterward, he started acting like he was above any emotional struggle, like he had transcended all of it. He became insufferable.
To me, that’s just another ego defense. A way to avoid feeling vulnerable or weak. It’s like a spiritual bypass—using self-improvement or spiritually to avoid facing the messy, real parts of being human.
I think I needed this wakeup call today. One of my very best friends is not a spiritual person, and it sometimes feels as though there is a gaping abyss between us because of it; I usually try to offer practical advice, but sometimes the spiritual root of the problem is too obvious to ignore. The last thing I want is to come on too strong and drive someone away by making them feel as though I'm speaking a language they don't recognize. Thank you for writing this. I think it's a problem we all have in this community to some degree.
Totally 🤎
This line stuck out to me:
Maybe you’ve been the person desperately needing someone to simply witness your pain, only to get a lecture instead of a friend that sees you. Or, maybe you’ve been the one who couldn’t resist turning someone else’s breakdown into your breakthrough moment.